Bring on year 2009

These last couple of days I’ve realized something. Friendship between boys and girls is impossible, at least in the way I would want to have it. I have always assumed that it’s ok for boys and girls to randomly meet and spend evenings together watching movies or doing something else of common interest. In contrary I have noticed that this only leads to false interpretations. From my part it usually leads to the boy thinking that I have some kind of hidden agenda with my friendship, when I honestly only would like to have more male friends. Why is that so wrong? As I remember, I have never had good male friends that haven’t been connected to my ex boyfriends or female friends. That is a sad truth. I feel my life misses something because I cannot think in a boyish way. I love hearing how boys think and analyze how that differs from how we girls think. Maybe it will get easier once people think I have a boyfriend.

Yesterday for the first time, I heard something that made me have an epiphany. A male friend told me that it frightens him that I have been so much abroad, that I have experienced something. That made me think of my favorite quote of all times, which is Arabic.

It goes something like this: "who lives, sees but who travels, sees more". 

That kind of summons it, I honestly believe that I have added value to my life by travelling. And after all, I have merely started. All the persons I have met have enriched my life. This does not mean that Finnish people don’t do the same for me, but sometimes I feel that they do not challenge me in the right way. I want me and my values and thoughts to be questioned. I don’t want to meet people that always agree with me. And besides that, I want to bring awareness about my country, my city and also the minority I represent. I guess that is the role we Swedish speaking Finns automatically take when we meet people who don’t know about our existence.

I think everybody that knows me know that I love my girls, but at this point I have to point out how much I cherish my best friends. They have stood on my side since forever and continue to do so. We are very different, but in our unique way. We bring joy, laughter and love into each other’s lives and we always support each other. Today we watched again the movie of our favorite TV show of all times, Sex and the City.

Those girls are dear to us, and during all the seasons of episodes, we feel that that show has spoken to us and that we know those girls. Everybody finds him/herself in that show. What I love the most about that show is the effect it has on people. By giving it only a glance, you might think it is a show about four vain girls strolling around in New York, but it is so much more. Underneath all that glamour, lays four beautifully strong but sometimes insecure women. They are just like us. I found it funny that today one of my best friends said that she hopes we’ll stay close just like them, and whilst the four girls of SATC celebrate Samantha’s 50th, we can after seven years celebrate our 30th. Commitments like that make us look forward to the future with a smile upon our faces. After that comment, whatever comes, I know I won’t have to deal with it alone. Come what may.

New Year’s Eve is knocking on the door. At this point of the year, I like to slow down and think about what I’ve done over the last year and what I expect and look forward to during the year to come. This year it actually feels like I have managed to make a closure to a lot of things. During the past year I made an awful amount of bad choices but last year also opened a lot of doors.

I am anxious to see the beginning of the next year. I am not one of those girls who talks about a new start without doing something concrete. A new year deserves a new look, so I have reserved a hairdresser to get my hair cut on Friday the 2nd. School starts next year and I need a hair boost to motivate me. I have an important spring ahead of me. My next exam period starts in the end of January and after that I only have one 10-week-long period left at uni before my internship starts in April. Besides all this, I have found another reason to smile, on the emotional side. I’ll fill you in on that later as it progresses.

But I feel pumped, full of hope and eager, joyous feelings. Year 2009, I’m ready. Bring it on.

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