Friday, March 27, 2009

A city with great potential

577 928 people live in Helsinki which makes the city the largest (populous) in Finland by a wide margin. What I love the most about the city is the fact that there is nothing that beats a free day on the town, just walking around, running errands. The people of Helsinki are well known for their friendliness for a reason. I know some Finns, coming from outside Helsinki, find the people of Helsinki snobbish or self-centered, but seeing as I was born here and I’ve been to many larger cities, I disagree. The people of Helsinki are by far the friendliest and most helpful. We have great services in places like the public library and pharmacies. I actually never stress about knowing what to get for e.g. a flu while going to the pharmacy. In Helsinki it is completely normal to ask for help from a pharmacist.

The weather in Helsinki this year has been completely off balance. I recently heard on the radio that we had a couple of years ago already 17 degrees during this period, even though we now struggle with minus degrees during nighttime and some couple of degrees during the day. But even concerning this, the people of Helsinki put a smile upon my face. When I took the bus from the library to the center, I saw people with sunglasses, leather jackets, converse all stars and even other summer shoes. That’s what I love about us. As soon as the sun comes out, we know how to appreciate it. It’s genuinely cute.

Walking around the center, I couldn’t help seeing some foreigners, probably tourists. They were so cute, all bundled up with thick winter jackets and hats. Ironically they didn’t really fit into the street sight; the Finns with their spring clothes and then two tourists dressed for cold winter. I had to smile.

Helsinki is a city with great potential, seeing as most of the people working in the city, actually live just outside the capital. They enter the city only for work or to do some shopping. Funnily enough, when I took the bus today, it was almost completely full and the driver got a fit from me wanting to get on it. He shouted “the bus is full!” and I had to reply that seeing as some people just got off the bus, there has to be room for a couple of more persons. Even though the driver probably was foreign-born, I couldn’t help myself thinking that this is seriously one of Helsinki’s problems. We are not used to crowds and rush hours. The moment a bus seems to be a little bit crowded, people get hysterical. For somebody who has lived in Milan, where rush hours tend to get really crazy, Helsinki’s crowded hours seem lame -nothing to worry about. I wish that all who live here would realize that it’s a good thing.

The growth and development of Helsinki is something that is happening by itself. We don’t need to stop it, just adjust to it. I get so annoyed at the people wanting to work in Helsinki, but not wanting to live here. You can’t eat the cake and still have it.

Either you realize that Helsinki is the provider of work for you and therefore you owe some respect for it too, or then you move somewhere else. I mean, we’re talking about Finland. There is quite enough space in this country for everyone. But Helsinki is the only city in the country where you can experience true city life.

You can take everything from a girl, but not her city. When I think about myself and who I am, my city pops up in my mind quite quickly, probably because I am used to promote the place where I come from. When I represent myself, I am not merely a Finn. I come from Helsinki and I’m damn proud of it.

The disappearance act

Some time ago, I praised the men I’d been together with and said that they bring an additional value to my life. Well, I must say, I was living in a dream world when I said that. The naïve me wanted to believe that that would be possible. The harsh truth is that those friendships are not a matter of course. Once you start a new relationship, your exes disappear.

Not that much time ago, it was time for the annual event every woman hates after she has turned 17, that is another birthday. This time it was my 23rd – such a useless and meaningless age. But I guess I officially belong to the twenty something girls. Even though I find it to be the best age, the sad truth is that it diminishes every year. Soon I will find myself 25, and then we’ve reached the final countdown to…no I can’t bear to say it, well turning you know what.

Anyway my point was that my birthday this year really showed me who cared. I had invited two of these “great men” as I called them then, and neither one of them showed up. And I haven’t heard from them since that. Obviously according to them, my boyfriend is the one who should deal with me now. Incredible! I mean, where was it ever said that a boyfriend means that a girl can’t have good male friends? Am I not really responsible for myself, and my boyfriend “just” completes me in the sense that he supports me? Why then, do people, especially ex boyfriends, assume that as soon as a girl has a new boyfriend, she is not interesting anymore as a friend? Do I stop having a personality? This gets me so angry!

One of them actually told me something very wise before he disappeared from the face of earth. He called me a relational person. He meant by saying this that I belong to the rare type of people that actually want to keep a relation with an ex. According to him, this is very rare, and that I am the first ex he has ever talked with after he broke up with her. I find this very sad. He said that this was because it was too hard for him to continue a relation. But come on, once you’ve been together with somebody, you have shared some time together. You have a past and you know each other. Why throw that away? What equals a normal relationship with an ex? Are we doomed to forget the men that have affected our lives? I wish men would grow up and realize that hurting people by disappearing is not smart, and will eventually just result in hurting them.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Long live dates!

I realized a long time ago that when my life becomes hectic or busy, I lose my sense of writing. My mind becomes disorganized and I cease to read my feelings and thoughts.

The last couple of weeks have been like that. Ever since this new period started in my uni. This is my final year and it's definitely noticeable. I’ve suddenly had so much to do that I haven’t had any spare time. I used to love coming home, but during this period of time, it’s only been stressful because I’ve seen my computer lurking at me, haunting me to work on school assignments. But it had paid off in a sense, because I have almost finished my theoretical part of the thesis I’m writing. Of course, I still want to work on it, but right now the first draft, let’s say, is done. Today I even got more motivating news- I’ve maybe found an assigner. That would mean a definite higher grade so I would be thrilled, ambitious as I am concerning my studies.

Recently, I’ve had another, even bigger reason to smile. My busy days have been filled with happiness since I’ve met my boyfriend. Or let’s say, since we decided to be together. Everybody that knows us two knows as well as I do, that we knew each other quite a while before becoming an item. I don’t think it’s a secret that I have been doubtful about the quality of Finnish men. Not because they are just pure bad, but more rightly said, not suitable for me.

This time I have been proved wrong, and I am not ashamed to admit it. But just because I have such a stubborn personality, I insist that this stands for just one case. I refuse to admit to having changed my opinion. Obviously. That would mean that I was wrong, hehe.

But back to this wonderful specimen of mine. I have to praise him a little bit, that is just how happy he makes me. He completes me. He’s my lobster <3 at="at" br="br" close="close" else="else" enough.="enough." friends="friends" has="has" he="he" if="if" know="know" least="least" means="means" nobody="nobody" that="that" watched="watched" what="what" will="will">

Just today, we were discussing games and rules of dating. One of my dear class mates was stressing about a date she was going on today. It got me thinking. There is a define difference about how girls deal with dates and how guys approach them. Funnily enough, one of my class’ boys gave her some good advice. He pointed out that whatever date will go fine as long as the girl:

1) uses deodorant
2) takes a shower
3) gets herself a so called “social bladder”, that is goes to the bathroom at least three times during a date to show that everything down there works properly
4) buys popcorn that she places right between the legs of her date so she can easily grab the last popcorn on the bottom of the box, if you get what I’m saying and
5) wears as little as possible.

Of course these remarks were made as a joke, but I must admit that each of us girls started thinking about if there wasn’t a hint of truth in it all. We women have wanted to unveil the truth about boys’ dating rules since the day girls and boys started dating. Let’s face it, men are the mysterious ones when it comes to dating, and women are like open books. We don’t need much in order to be satisfied and happy with a date. Just some reassurance and encouragement. I’ve never actually been the dating type. I can’t remember having a relationship with anyone I’ve dated.

My former boyfriends have all been my friends or at least somebody I have been acquainted with. Dates have always in my case become strange at some point. Maybe it’s just because I don’t know the rules of dating. I never know what is expected of me, and when I get nervous, I start to babble. Go figure. Anyway I think dating a false way to get to know somebody. As I have mentioned earlier, people act in a certain way when they date. Nobody tells everything about themselves while dating. It’s first when a relation evolves into a relationship that the truth comes out. I guess that is why I don’t believe in dating. I believe in relationship dating though. Once you are in a relationship, it’s fun to go out on dates. It’s funny how dates never cease to tell things about the person you’re on the date with. Long live dates I say as a romantic person.

The drawing of me

Silly thoughts of small deeds. Everything that once answered to your needs. The thoughtless but kind. The caring but blind. Everything fades away.

Everything fades away, come turning of the tide. For your love I'm sorry. For your pain, don't worry. Everything fades away.

Silhouettes and false leads. That which drew you, like a crow to glass beads. Secrets spied. Wishes sighed. Everything fades away.

All I'm saying is don't give up, when you're getting so close. All I'm saying is don't give up, it's the right way you chose.
Everything fades away with time, or at least gets blurrier, but we still feel the same if we think about our feelings. We might go on, but our experiences are written in us like tattoo ink on our body. Our past designes us like drawings on a piece of paper. We continue living, and learn new things and get to know new people, but the truth is that we are who we are thanks to the people we've known along the way. Erasing those people is like rubbing away a part of ourselves.