Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Grief & funeral wear

Helsinki, 0 degrees

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If you want to get warm you move near the fire. If you want joy, peace, eternal life, you must get close to what has them. 

The content of my blog has lately been quite heavy in comparison to what it usually is. I would like to take this chance to thank you readers, for allowing me to be honest and tell you about what I'm going through right now. This blog is very important to me and in a sense it has come as no surprise that it has helped me a lot also during this tough period of my life - that is thanks to you readers. So thank you.

During this haze I've forgotten to tell you about my newest brochure project. It has been published on our website for already some time now, but I haven't presented it on my blog. So here you go - here's the brand new Visitor's Guide for Helsinki this year! You can read about the project in my blog post here. We were a team that put the brochure together, but I was responsible for the text of the brochure (all texts except the theme spreads). What do you think about it? I really want your comments on it!

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Today I received encouragement from a surprising source which really made me understand that I love my job. Since I'm going through a period of grief, it's been difficult to find joy, but for me personally, I have refound my joyful and innovative personality thanks to my work. My biggest sources of inspiration are my nearest and dearest and Helsinki. I want to give a big shout out to you too! Thank you to everybody who has supported me during this period.


Since my father's funeral is coming up, I've been thinking about what to wear to the occasion. I found it very surprising that, even though, the blog scene on the internet is very rich, there are very little blog posts about funeral dresses. Death is a part of everybody's life, despite our view on it or that we might not be prepared for it. How come nobody talks about how difficult it is to find a funeral dress?

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Little black dresses are included in every girl's wardrobe, but that is something completely different. For me, I must say that it has been difficult to wear black during the last 2½ weeks since I usually wear a lot of colorful clothes. Don't get me wrong, nobody has forced me to do so, I've worn black during this time because it has felt like the right thing for me. However, today I really felt like the black color was depriving me. So my personal choice is to start to wear colors from tomorrow. I've put a lot of thought in this, and I know in my heart that my father would accept and respect this. My grief won't go away even though I start wearing colors again, but maybe colorful clothing will give me more energy to get through this exhausting period.

I find grief is all about mixed emotions. Sometimes it feels like I would like to have "grieving" tattooed on my forehead so that everybody would know what I'm going through. On the other hand, I don't want any special treatment and I don't necessarily want to tell everybody about my grief. In short, grief is difficult to explain to others when it's so unclear even for myself.

Nevertheless, black is the color I'll wear to the funeral so I still have to make up my mind about what to wear then.

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Browsing through blogs, I found only two posts about funeral dresses: one on Fashion Cents and one on Fashion Bomb Daily.

I liked the rule list on Fashion Cents: 

1. No over exposure of skin. Be a little less Sex in the City’s Samantha and a little more Charlotte. 
2. Wear black. 
3. Wear black shoes. 
4. No hats! 

To see the whole list with the explanations for the points, please see the blog post of Fashion Cents.

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On Fashion Bomb Daily, I liked the fact that sunglasses were mentioned: Bring along some dark sunglasses to conceal your puffy eyes. I have to consider that. You might think that I'm shallow for thinking about the outfit beforehand, but I just want the outfit to be thought-out so that I won't have to think about it at all during the actual funeral day. For me, the funeral day is all about respecting my father and saying my farewell to him. No words can express it, but he'll always be a part of me and he'll continue to live on in me.

Have you been to a funeral? How did you decide what to wear?

10 comments:

  1. The brochure looks amazing. I'm so proud of you for staying strong and doing your best to keep going. <3
    the-creationofbeauty.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you Shannon for your kind support!

      xxx
      E

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  2. That's awesome that you designed that brochure! That looks like a great guide! And I hope you are doing a little better now, hang in there! Hopefully the funeral brings some much needed closure.

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    1. Thank you Francesca! I've written the brochure, and of course participated in the design but I was mainly responsible for the writing.

      xxx
      E

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  3. I've been to 2 funerals I think. Mostly when I was younger.

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  4. oh wow, that brochure looks really nice and I would actually love to hold it in my hands and read it (I don't like reading such things from my computer).
    I hope you have found the right dress now. I have been to a funeral but I was a child then so I have no idea how did I look like.. definitely a difficult task to find the right things but I guess the idea is the most important thing here. I wish you all the best with it.

    Maiken,
    Maikeni blogi - part of me

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  5. First of all, I'm so sorry about your father. I also lost my dad when I was young (23) and found it very difficult to deal with his lost. And your are right- there is no way you are supposed to feel at any given moment when dealing with grief- I think that's its wonderful that you are continuing to do things that you normally love, like blog.
    Secondly, the brochure looks amazing. You must have an amazing job and that would be so cool to get to create something like that!
    :)
    Allison

    A's Fashion Files
    Shop Kawaii Kitsch by A on Etsy, and get free domestic shipping with code FREESHIP

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    1. Thank you Allison for your kind words! Were you already writing a blog at that point? It would be nice to read about your experiences, even though it might sound strange. Thank you for your feedback on the brochure!

      xxx
      E

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